“You don’t like these tests?” I asked. “You don’t want to do these tests? Don’t you realize that these scores are published in the newspaper and parents and real estate agents everywhere look at these scores? Don’t you realize that your parents’ property values are affected if you don’t know how to find the diameter [...]
‘When you can’t remember the name of the student who has been sitting in front of you for the last sixty-seven days.” Happens to me every day… is this a sign? “When you spend five minutes trying to turn off the TV with your cell phone.” Haven’t done that, but definitely got very upset when [...]
“Being on an airplane is the same as being in the classroom.” Mr. Done goes on to follow the analogy of an airplane trip as school. I would like to offer another, equally accurate, analogy. Prisons are like schools, or more accurately, schools are like prisons. Required attendance — Students are required to attend school [...]
“The problem is you don’t have the looks down yet,” I said. “The what?” “The looks,” I repeated. “Every teacher has a collection of looks. You have to, or you won’t survive.” Very true Mr. Done. We all have the looks and need to master them before really mastering teaching. The essay lays out five [...]
“The following things are guaranteed to bring any lesson to a grinding halt… Spiders, Fire Alarms, Bees, Wall Maps (falling of said wall maps), Snow, Lightning, and Power Outages.” While Mr. Done might have been making this list in reference to 3rd graders, I assure you it works the same for seniors in high school. [...]
“Next year this will not happen. Next year if I hear so much as a sniffle, I’m not letting any of them into the classroom without a note from the surgeon general. Next year I will teach in a mask. Next year we will sterilize all scissors, pencils, and rulers. And if they raise their [...]
“I have yet to see one book on how to get through April Fool’s Day. Each year thousands of first-year teachers walk blindly into their first April without any guidance on how to survive it.” Thankfully my April Fool’s incident didn’t come until my third year of teaching. By that time, I had developed the [...]
“I’ll admit it. I get choked up at Christmas concerts… I mean holiday concerts… I mean winter concerts… I mean solstice celebrations.” Actually Mr. Done, I hate them…. but maybe that’s because of what I have to do at every Christmas and spring concert. I warn you, it’s not pretty. The first year at my [...]
“I see your mom sit down nervously, then hear her sigh when I explain that you are so well behaved in class. I catch the corners of your dad’s mouth go up when I tell him how much your English has improved, and see his chest swell when I show him the 100 percent on [...]
“All teachers have their standard speeches that they give during the year… Sometimes I feel like a broken record. It would be so much easier if I could just shout out the number of the speech.” I have many of the same speeches as Mr. Done, such as the “Stop Talking Speech” or the “Don’t [...]