32 Third Graders Series: Teacher Speeches
“All teachers have their standard speeches that they give during the year… Sometimes I feel like a broken record. It would be so much easier if I could just shout out the number of the speech.”
I have many of the same speeches as Mr. Done, such as the “Stop Talking Speech” or the “Don’t Touch Speech” (one I never thought I would have to use with high schoolers), but I also have some unique speeches. So, I thought I would let you in on some of my own repeat speeches. I have numbered them for easy cataloguing.
Speech 413 — Get It Finished Speech
“Holy crap! You’re complaining about the due date for this assignment. Didn’t I assign it on insert day of week and said it was due on insert day of week three days from assignment date. Does it really take you more than three days to write a one page reflection paper on the chapter? Seriously people, get it done.”
Speech 125 — Hand Raising Speech
“Guys! Are you in third grade? Haven’t we discussed this already? I think you can handle entering into the conversation without raising your hand and me calling on you. Please wait until I end a sentence or thought and then please jump in with relevant comments or questions.”
Speech 235 — Stop Texting Speech
“That floor better be incredible interesting. Because if it’s not, you’re texting and I’m pretty sure that is strictly forbidden in my classroom. Do we need a hand and pocket check?”
Speech 86 — Get Out of My Chair Speech
“Excuse me, whose chair is that? Oh yeah, mine. So get out.”
Speech 32 — No IPOD Speech
“Really! Do you think by asking me for the 100th time, I will change my mind about letting you listen to your IPOD during class? Seriously, no IPODs!”
Speech 195 — Get Off Google Speech
“Ok…. I understand that I put a trivia question on the board every Monday. I also understand that I draw your attention to it at the start of each class period on Monday. However, I do not understand how doing any of that gives you permission to run over and Google it during my teaching. Am I really that boring? Wait, don’t answer that. Just keep your Googling to passing periods please.”
Speech 46 — No Singing Ke$ha Speech
“EWWWW!!! I hate her. Stop singing. This is a “No Ke$ha” room. You sing anything else but her. And no humming it either.”
Speech 444 — Please Fart Outside Speech
“Ok, who did it? I know someone in here decided to break The Rule. That’s right I capitalized it! It’s The Rule and I know you do not want to break the rule. So please, when you feel the need, stuck your butt out the door. And then everyone will be able to breathe easily.”
And the most important speech in my repertoire…
Speech 567 — PUT YOUR NAME ON YOUR PAPER Speech
“Put your name on your paper. Period.”
Leave a Reply