Let’s start with parents…. What is our job in the education process?  Do we get involved? Do we let our kids sink or swim on their own? I have conflicting ideas of the role of parents.  As a parent, my instinct is to say that I want to be involved.  I want to know what and how my kids are doing in class.  However, my kids are starting to get old.  At some point they need to survive on their own.  Then what is my role?  Do I just sit back and let them take care of everything? Part of me hates giving up control.

On the other side of the coin, what do teachers want of parents?  (Author’s bias: I taught primarily high schoolers, so that’s who I base my ideas off of)  Parents should be limited in their involvement in day to day school business.  I have a great resentment to the so-called helicopter parents.  Do they trust teachers?  My opinion: no, they don’t.

At some point we, as a nation, need to let go.  We have to give over trust to the experts.  All the editorials and education plans I’ve read in the past year in some part blame teachers for problems.  Supposedly we have too many bad teachers.  If that’s the case, fine, get rid of the bad teachers.  But even if they did that and got “good” teachers into positions, parents who still not give over control and trust to them.  We, as a nation, are too used to the Burger King philosophy “Have it your way.”  Not everything can be personalized.  Education is in some respects generalized.  We need a standard, all students need to learn certain things, then we can get more personalized.  But that’s the kind of Burger King philosophy parents adhere to.  They don’t want what’s best for their child, but what they think they want.  It’s like ordering a Whopper with extra cheese, mayo, and extra meat… not what you should really be eating but what you want at the time.  Will that burger help you 30 years from now when you develop heart disease?  No it won’t, but we cannot deny ourselves.  It works the same way in education.  At some point we need to let go of control.

Teachers need to focus on teaching and parents need to focus on parenting at home, teaching their kids values, behavior, manners, and loving them.  Leave the reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithematic to teachers.

And don’t even get me started on nonexistent parents…

“Name three of the most deviant things you can think of.”

Multiple students: “Murder, incest, profanity..”

One particular student “pooping on flowers, cursing at your grandma, and having sex with a teacher.”

To which I stupidly replied: “Now that’s interesting, are we talking about a teacher and current student, a teacher and a teacher, or a teacher and a former student?   And to clarify, what ages are we discussing: high school or college?”

This led to a very weird conversation about sex and sex laws and what society accepts or does not accept. 

Sociology has to be the one class that we discuss the most random topics but they all fit into the chapters or topics I’m teaching about.  I allow many tangents and discussions that I am sure could get me fired.  We are not discussing sex for the cool factor or the “we are breaking the rules” factor, we discussed it in terms of the chapter “Deviance and Social Control.” 

After discussing the legality of sex with minors, we moved on to sex with teachers once the student graduates.  In society’s eyes that’s socially awkward, but not illegal.  Some may consider it to be deviant and others not so much.  I explained that after the age of 18, the illegal nature disappears, to which that particularstudent replied “Great I still have a chance with you.”

Now I know what you are thinking:  What is going on between those two?  But I swear it’s all innocent.  This student and a few others have made it a mission to try to make me uncomfortable and I have to say they have gotten crazier and crazier as the year had progressed and yet I am notuncomfortable.  They went a whole week calling me this particular student’s mom, but then decided that the Mrs. referred to me being his wife.  A few of my male and even some female students routinely tell me that they love me.  Crazy comments and the like.  And I take it as a sign that they do love me (in a big sister, mentor way) and accept the devotion. 

But this leads to an interesting discussion of sex, romantic relationships, teachers and students.  Where do we draw the line?  To be very clear, I would never even think of having sex with a current student (if nothing else it is illegal). What about former students or people who have graduated that you never taught, but were at your school or had your teacher friends in class?  Is that okay?

Another incident this week illustrated the confusion…  At the homecoming game I was sitting with three other female teachers.  A former student who graduated last year walked by and chatted with us for a minute.  Two of the teachers are new this year and after the student left one mentioned that he was cute ot which myself and the other older teacher replied “Eww No!”  To be fair this former studentis very cute, but he was a student.  I tend to view my students as part of my extended group of children.  I am like their mother or at least a big sister.   I had this particular student for two straight years in class and could not even see him as an eligible male. 

This is something that I am sure or at least hope am sure that elementary teachers never even think about, but for us young high school teachers it becomes an interesting question?  How young  is too young?  Currently I am about 10 years older than the seniors I teach.  If we go 10 years into the future all of a sudden we are still 10 years apart, but that does not seem to be a big deal.   I know many couples that are separated by 8 or 10 years in age.  So conceivably, I could date or even marry someone graduating this year.  Weird I know! 

The other piece to the confusion is the relationships.  I see all my students as my kids.  I have been at this school for three years and have seen students grow from little confused freshmen to fairly confident, dating, and driving juniors.  Every time I look at them I can see a picture of them as freshmen on the first day I met them.  I don’t think I will ever seen than as true sexual adults.  That’s gross!  They are innocent children needing to be protected.  So even if I ran into a student 10 years down the road, I don’t think I could ever see them as anything other that scared confused little freshmen begging me to help them grow and learn, even if they are really cute!

I guess I cannot blame people for falling for their teachers and/or students, but I could never do it.  Sex and the single teacher will stay sex and the single teacher with a partner of comparable age or at least not one that ever had anything to do with my school.  That’s just too weird!  Unfortunately that means I could never marry my one particular studnet and he’s going to be a bit upset.  But I think my age appropriate boyfriend will appreciate my stance on this topic.